Lead me not into temptation I can find it myself.

We'll go to hell for this but at least we had a good time.

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When I try to live without drugs,
on phone
I realise how lonely I am.  

I know damn well,

that's why I keep going back to it.

It's strange, that even though I could kill myself everytime I get high, I'll continue to anyway.
The major bummer I suppose, is that if I met someone who would keep me company, it would be to late. I wouldn't stop drugs. Slow down maybe, but I can't stop.

I've already eaten myself alive. 

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I was at home when you rang, scrambled out of bed trying to get to the phone in time... failure was mine.. I blame the cold & these old bones! I shall try to ring you now!

Hey man, got yo message on the answer machine. Thanks for that and sorry that I didn't pick up.

Miss you Mr Ash.

babe. i didnt know u were back into this. last time i spoke to u u said u were clean. to be hont i am a bit disappointed and scared for u... but what drugs?? and how often?? u can get out. u might think right now that u cant because thats the mindset addiction gives u... and mixed with depression and a feeling of emptyness well yeah ur going to believe u cant get out - ur trapped in ur mind ive been there its not pretty... it becomes ur comfort zone which is dangerous... but u can get out. i know u can. plz try. if not for u then for me. i dont want u killing urself on substances i want u to be happy. just think of River Phoenix! lol.

i think u need to get out of nz... get back to civilisation. i know its easy to say but u have to try unless u want to live lie this but im sure u dont... do this for me: write downa plan - what u want to be doin it can eb long term/short term it can be now or in the future... but strive for something u can get out of this i know it.

i love u call me at any time if u need me ever.

I love you too, always will Jo babe.

Thanks for the suggestions. I collected myself enough to agree to get a drug and alcahole councilor but as for which drugs and how often, BZP, Speed, Kava, White willow (trippers), Pot, and I have no idea what is in an X-Plode but probs a bit of BZP and some calming herb. It's a party drug but it puts me in this brain dead calm state.

I'm hoping the psyche program on top of the D&A coucilor will help me get my shit together a little better.

im glad ur tryin to help it. i have no idea wht half of those drugs are lol i am worried about u ive been thinkin about u alot lately but im really pleased ur getting help jsut make sure u accept the help lol!

love u...

scootchie bootchies! :D


Lol.. New Zealand drugs are so different to Australian drugs ey?

if u say so kid... NOOOGE

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